things that have changed since first i loved you (poem, 2019)

(c) Kelsey Kautzsch

the days have slipped by
like cotton candy on the tongue
the carefully spun crystals melt
with unexpected haste,
sweet but unbelievably quick,
somehow weaving themselves into
seven little years
i try to think of all the times
when i began to know
i loved you
freshly laid snow
beneath our feet
upon leaving the movie theater
warming our intertwined hands
in the chevy we’ve since gotten rid of
all the hello-ing and goodbye-ing
and have-a-good-day-ing
the boring little intricate bits
of our lives
that have made me love you
all the more
now there’s a round little callus
beneath the base
of my left ring finger,
created by the little silver band you placed there
although i cannot quite say for certain
how long i have loved you,
the shape of my love has grown
through trials and silent prayers
through the psalms you read over me
in the darkness as i cried
and through buckets full of laughter,
through healing,
and fears laid to rest
i suppose
i believe i can quantify my love
for you
give it some kind of name,
but really,
it is only known by the way it’s reflected
in the love you’ve given me

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